How To Survive as a Single Parent: Reflections From 2019

Cheers to you, as we start the new year! Two thousand and twenty or twenty-twenty, however you prefer to say it, is officially upon us. As I was busily writing the crystal ball post I promised you, my mind was flashing back over 2019 and all of the great progress our website has made since the official launch in the fall. So, I realized I needed to divert from the crystal ball post to make time to talk about reflections. Besides, that will give you more time to think about whether or not you would look into an imaginary crystal ball to see your future. For those of you joining us for the first time and wondering what I am talking about, you can read my post What Does Single Parenting Teach Our Children to bring yourself up-to-date.

As I put this list of reflections together, it was remarkable to see what transpired through all the hardship, stress, challenges, difficulties, grief, and suffering. More specifically, any tiny bit of hope or glimmer of light can make all the difference to carry us through a breath, a moment or one day. For all of us, when we compile all of the “littles” and see them as a “whole,” we can see progress is being made. It may be slow, but over time it gains momentum.

Here are the tiny thoughts for you in no particular order, in hopes that maybe one, or even two, resonate with you to help carry you through this year:

Reflections 2019

Reflection #1 – Miracles

Close up of white and pink flower buds blooming spring

Over the eight years, small miracles kept appearing to propel us through. When I reflect about real stories, like Enid’s Exercise Equipment, and how my request was answered to provide us resources we needed, I realize we were being taken care of. As a result, I am still filled with wonder when I see how my requests were answered.  Furthermore, there are more stories that I haven’t even told you yet. Stay tuned this coming year for more of them.

Published post Enid’s Exercise Equipment

Reflection #2 – Others Recognize Our Struggle

It is when others recognize our struggle that we connect with one another in the human condition. Therefore, let us all open our eyes to see what lies in front of us. For it is this vision that brings us together as “community.” I am so thankful for Mr. Hill who recognized the struggle of a single parent in so much as to say, “you deserve an honorary medal.”

Published post Honorary Medal for the Single Parent

Reflection #3 – Community Helps

Watching one’s community step up and help us is a powerful experience. Thus, it is surprising to witness the warmth and grandeur of humanity. Despite the season of darkness one may be in, human goodwill leaves an impression that lasts a lifetime.

Published post Unexpected Surprise

Close up image white hydrangea on steps with sunlight in background

Reflection #4 – Gift of Giving

I heard the words from my oldest child, It is what we do, Mom” as I watched my child pass on the gift of giving to others. Those words continue to echo in my mind, reminding me my children were learning about how to give all along.

Published post What Does Single Parenting Teach Our Children?

Reflection #5 – Change Will Happen

Seasons roll one into the next, just like the season of single parenting will roll into a new phase one day. It just hasn’t happened “yet”. The word, “yet” is a good word to use as single parents. For example, when we use the word “yet,” I feel like we are waiting for something to change or be different. We know the change will happen, but just not yet!

You may recall, eight years later, I finally got the break. The change did happen, it just took some time. Time in the number of years, though, can be a different number for all of us. Some less, some more. What is important to hold on to is that the season will change. Again, it just hasn’t happened “yet.”

Published post Moose Kickoff Party

Reflection 6: Thankful for Friends and Family

I am so thankful for my friends and family for their encouragement and belief in my potential to survive the difficulty.   

Close up image of white snowdrops with blurred background

Published post What is Your Purpose?

My best friend pointed out that I was capable of thriving in my single parent journey. We had grown up with one another since preschool. She said, “Growing up with you as a friend, I always knew you were able to tackle anything that came your way.  You have always been able to do that.”  

Reflection #7 – Let Go and Trust

Learn to let go and trust. Always believe your inner desires are being heard. Believe they will be answered in a mysterious way that no man, in all of his science, can explain.  

Published post One Way to Let Go at the Holidays

Reflection #8: True Gifts

 What we really received from our small group of women from The Twelve Days of Christmas:

Close up image of white flower bouquet against white background

Day 1 – Recognition

Day 2 –  Compassion

Day 3 –  Emotional support

Day 4 – Comfort

Day 5 – Encouragement

Day 6 – Kindness

Day 7 –  Joy

Day 8 –  Togetherness

Day 9 –  Inspiration

Day 10 – Faith

Day 11 – Hope

Day 12 – Love

Published post Twelve Days of Christmas

Reflection #9: Flexibility, compromise, and sacrifice

Being stretched in all directions is harrowing and exhausting for one person. That is the life of a single parent. Therefore, it’s simply not realistic to think one person can do the work of two people! As a result, take the time to focus on your well-being and identify what is truly important. Ultimately, in doing so, one can learn about flexibility, compromise, and sacrifice.  

Published post O Tender Tree

Reflection #10 – Traditions Change

Black and white image of ornate French door surrounded by climbing rose bushes

Traditions can change and they still can be good. In other words, being witness to a holiday in a fashion that is remotely different from what we are accustomed to is okay. For instance, holidays can be traditional or non-traditional. Likewise, they can be out of the ordinary and even extraordinary. In the end, they really are just another day.

Published post Thanksgiving Without Turkey

There we have it! Reflections from 2019, in the early morning hour, to carry you through the new year. I will share more of my eight years of single parenthood, pulling out the hope, stamina, and beauty that is needed to help you through. It can be done!

In closing, I look out at the dark morning sky, wondering if the sun will make an appearance today and getting ready to write more about the crystal ball. Mostly, though, I wish all of you the best in your well-being, health, and healing for today and the new year.

Photography Credits

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash - Wicker baskets, white flowers
Photo by Nathan Fertig on Unsplash - Flowers in windowsill
Photo by Mario Garcia on Unsplash - White blossoms fruit tree, pink
Photo by Katarzyna Urbanek on Unsplash - Dandelion flower, solo
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash - Close up hydrangea on stairs
Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash - White tulips wrapped
Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash – Two bouquets of white flowers
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash – Snowdrops flowers
Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash - Campanula flower
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash - White bouquet, closeup
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash - Loose white flowers on board
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash - Black and white with brick, roses
Photo by Zane Lee on Unsplash - Red car with colorful flowers

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