Outsider
Removed from the circle of life and standing on the perimeter
I am an observer looking into the circle
I sit at the café table next to the window although I am not really there
I am removed as I watch the numerous people on the sidewalk as they stroll by
Smiles and laughter
Couples holding hands glancing at one another
Conversations, lighthearted, flippant, and carefree
Holding their umbrellas high, keeping themselves dry from the raindrops falling all around
Yet, I am not part of the motion
I am the outsider observing life
Sitting at the cafe table, watching and waiting
Waiting for it to be different
No one knows my pain, no one knows my struggle
I used to be one of them
I am the outsider, watching and observing
Wondering when I will be thrown back into the world that I used to know and be part of
Give me back my life
But this is my life, observer of life
I am broken, my brokenness allows me to be the observer
To notice the mundane details of life that others think nothing of
The widower sitting alone waiting for someone to notice him
How I would trade places with another just to be back in the game of life
Am I to bear this burden much longer as it has been so long since I have been on the other side?
There is a reason, I am certain
For if there is none then all seems meaningless
I need a reason
Over time it is revealed
I understand now
You need my help for the broken world
The widower who comes to the café to fill the empty void at home
Would I have noticed the widower if I had been strolling carefree on the sidewalk?
I reach out to him
I see his tears well up in his eyes
I listen to his story
I am thankful for being the observer of life
For without it, I would have missed a moment to see, hear, and feel the beauty of mankind
